Do you have a crush on your friend?
She could be a childhood friend
Or one of your regular friends
Or your best friend
(^ΦдΦ^)
Or dearest friend, even?
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Too soon, Snarksy
Or a girl who friendzoned you
(⌐O_O)
And that’s not too soon?
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Well that’s kinda like dearest friend, so I guess
(⌐O_O)
And what if a guy’s been friendzoned?
(^ΦдΦ^)
This a “I have a friend who…” situation?
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Well, they’d do well to learn how to get out of the friend-zone
Or a girl in your group that you’ve never talked to
No matter what the context is, you have the hots for your friend, and you are at a loss for what to do
Fortunately, there are very concrete steps that you can take to attract your friend
However, to change your relationship with someone in your social circle, is a big step, and a big decision
So before you go ahead, you should do these things today, to best prepare yourself
- Know the deal
- Know the social setting
- Know her personality
- Know her preferences
- Know her logistics
- Know the costs
- Make your decision + Take Action
Step 1: Know The Deal
You should know that there are very clear upsides and downsides to going after someone in your social circle
Advantage: Most Info Available
When you want to land one specific girl, it pays to tailor your approach to her preferences and circumstances
Out of all the types of crushes you can develop, you have access to the most info about the girl, when she’s in your social circle:
- Asking her directly, in friendly conversation
- Asking her friends
- Checking her social media
- Even if it’s private, you are more likely to have access to it, from
- Having added her already
- It being easier to add her through the social circle
- Even if it’s private, you are more likely to have access to it, from
- Knowing about it already
Advantage: Most Time Available
When it comes to making a move on a girl, in most cases, the guy is under the pump: You have a limited amount of time to make her attracted enough to meet up, and a limited amount of time on the date to build her attraction and comfort enough to go home with you, or to agree to another date
These time limits do not exist when she is a friend whom you see in your social circle regularly:
- You can build attraction and comfort slowly and gradually over multiple outings
- You don’t have to rush or take risks, so you can come across more at ease and less try-hard
- You can majorly fuck up, and have the opportunity to apologise or build goodwill back up, since you’ll see her again, and it’s hard to totally cut someone (i.e. you) out from one’s mutual social circle
Disadvantage: Messiest Social Dynamics
Because you both exist in the same social circle, things can get messy
Your friend (or worse, best friend) could be into her too – or straight-up be her ex
Or she’s dated the bully before
Or she’s related to the bully
You might know who she has a crush on in the group
She might even be on again, off again, with different people in the group
So, the conniving and conflict of interest could be off the charts – which is a lot for you to keep track of
Step 2: Know The Social Setting
The nature of you and your friend-crush’s social circle will play a part in how discreet you’ll need to be
Fluidity of the Social Circle
Does everyone say hi and chat to everyone else?
Or are there cliques within the circle, and people rarely interact between cliques, unless for certain reasons (e.g. to invite them to a venue or event)?
How often does the group receive new people, and when it does, are the newbies welcomed or shunned?
The more fluid the social circle, the easier it is for you to reach the friend you have a crush on without raising eyebrows
The more rigid the social circle, the more you’ll need to work covertly to avoid social consequences
Level of Judgmentalism of the Social Circle
How much of a party or hook-up culture is in your circle?
How religious or conservative is your circle?
How much does the circle thrive on gossip and scandal and drama?
The more likely the circle is to judge harshly and punish sexual behaviour, the more you need to work under the radar
Your Role In The Social Circle
Your current role in the friend crush’s social circle, will determine how much possible attraction your crush may already have for you, and your possible courses of action
Lurker
You don’t really do much in the circle – you don’t actively contribute, and you don’t stand out
Your crush is unlikely to already have a crush on you
If the circle is particularly large (e.g. a class), and you two are on either ends of the circle (e.g. you sit far away from one another), and you have not talked to her before, she might not even know of you
(^ΦдΦ^)
Unless you’re super-duper good-looking – but hey, who are we kidding, you being here is kind-of self-selecting…
If you were to approach her in your current form (with no social value, and no legitimate pretense other than the assumed default of “she’s attractive and you’re interested in her”), you’ll come across as lame and desperate, and you’ll be on the backfoot from the start
The best thing would be to class-change into one of the next two roles (or better yet, both), and get on her radar first, before you make contact with her
Performer
Ok, so you’re engaging in any type of performance in the group:
- Public speaking
- Singing / rapping / beatboxing
- Telling jokes / stories
- Pranking
- Chanting
- Playing (e.g. tag, ball sports, frisbee)
- Dancing
- Recording photos / videos / livestreams
- Looking good shirtless… (I dunno dude)
It would obviously help if you’re actually good, which demonstrates skills and talent, which are attractive – but even just the act of putting yourself out there can be a display of social value…
(⌐O_O)
Why’s that?
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Well evolutionarily speaking, humans evolved in tribal settings – and public performances are risky – since it comes with the danger of bombing and damaging your reputation and getting shunned from the group, which in evolutionary times would mean death.
(^ΦдΦ^)
Which is why people rank public speaking as scarier than death (which might be due to the availability bias, since no one has experienced actually dying before – but still, the statistic is bonkers).
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
So, the fact that you’re ballsy enough to take the social risk, AND not get punished for it, has inherent social value
…And would both get the attention of your crush, and also possibly make you seem more attractive to her
If you were to go and talk to her, she’s more likely to be receptive – but the approach would make it quite obvious that you were into her, which could lead to its own consequences
Socialiser
You have a more active social role in the group:
- Actively socialising with everyone in the group
- Being the first to socialise with new members
- Introducing different members to each other
- Bringing new members in
- Planning and carrying out social events
Being social inherently has some performance aspect (since it demonstrates social skills, resistance to social pressure, and other skills like planning and coordination), making it inherently attractive
And it also allows you to interact with your crush without raising alarm-bells from the rest of the group, since you interact with almost everyone, and you might be organising something that includes multiple cliques within the group
If you have the choice, you should be both Performer and Socialiser – but if you had to choose, you should be a Socialiser, as it gives you most leeway to socialise with your crush without raising eyebrows
Step 3: Know Her Personality
The personality of your crush, will determine how best for you to approach her
Is she shy? Does she freak out or shut down whenever someone new talks to her?
In this case, you should first make sure you get on her radar, build up her familiarity for you, say hi to her occasionally, and slowly build your way up to a conversation
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
It may also help to have a mutual friend introduce you to her
Is she social? Does she say hi to new people? Does she easily socialise inside and outside of the group?
In this case, if you can socialise like a normal person, you can straight-up just go talk to her
Is she more clique-y? Is she never seen without her group, and will pretty much go where they go, and do what they do?
In this case, you likely cannot just go talk to her without her clique locking her the fuck down
This means you’ll need to get in through the clique first: In fact, if the clique sees you as cool and/or attractive, your crush is likely to follow the clique’s lead, and become interested in you
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
A word of warning though: A girl who is more clique-y, is more likely to chat about dating and relationships to her group. Keep this in mind if you don’t want to get a reputation within the social circle – whether you bomb or score, the clique – and eventually the social circle – is likely to find out
(^ΦдΦ^)
That kind of doesn’t matter though, if you’re planning on building the most perfect new social circle for yourself – but we’re getting ahead of ourselves
Is she easygoing? Is she generally pleasant, and able to chat about most topics without upping the drama level?
In this case, you can easily chat to her about anything
Or is she intense and sensitive? Is she extremely vocal about certain topics (e.g. human rights, animal rights, environmentalism), and willing to have arguments and tantrums about it? Is she easily triggered?
For these girls, you should become familiar with all of her landmine topics (to never bring them up) and her stance on topics (to never take the wrong sides)
(⌐O_O)
That sounds like a lot of potential compromising of a guy’s own values and integrity
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants
(^ΦдΦ^)
And if the heart wants a SJW or snowflake, the guy better prepare to play the safespace / sycophant – if not to get in her pants, then to at least not find himself in a shouting match…
Step 4: Know Her Preferences
If you know what she’s into, you are more likely to have her say yes
(⌐O_O)
To what?
(〃∀〃)✧
T-to whom might be the better question~
Food & Drink
Know her dietary restrictions and preferences, so you don’t invite her to something that she has no business saying yes to
(⌐O_O)
Like…?
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Inviting a vegan to a BBQ house
(^ΦдΦ^)
Or a keto girl to a juice bar
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Or a calorie-counter to a buffet
(^ΦдΦ^)
(Why would you go to a buffet for a date) ANYWAY, or a girl with a seafood allergy to awesome restaurants
(⌐O_O)
Harsh
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
In unrelated news, have you noticed that food allergies are always to the most delicious things? Like eggs, and nuts, and seafood
(^ΦдΦ^)
Food allergies are like the body’s way of admitting that it’s too stupid to survive
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
By the way, don’t do dinner dates – you don’t want to fall into a Provider Frame
Even if she likes you, she would not say yes to the date. And the fact that you know so little about her to invite her to the one thing she can’t have, might make her like you less
But let’s stop banging on about that already…
Type Of Guy She Dates
You might also know what type of guys she’s into
Like, bad boys, soy boys, fuck bois, hipsters, men in uniforms, corporate high-flying suit types, etc.
Whilst you might not fit that archetype, you might be able to isolate and adopt the relevant qualities
For example, for the bad boy type, you might not want to get a leather jacket, or take up smoking and binge-drinking and hard drugs, or get into extreme sports, but you can march more to the beat of your own drum, and care less about what other people think
Hobbies & Passions
And then, there are the things that she is passionate about
These are the things that she could work on all day without feeling like it’s work, that she would give her time to even without getting paid for it, and – in some circumstances – that she would be willing to give her life to
Not surprisingly, this likely ranks as one of her favourite topics to talk about – and you would do well to learn what these topics are, so you can ask smarter questions, and make more interesting comments – either during the date, or to convince her to go on a date
Note that this is NOT the same as her existing talents or qualities – she might not be particularly interested in them, and in some cases may actually despise them, because they overshadow what she wants to be known for instead
For example, a girl might be really smart, but due to her beauty, guys only want to compliment her on her style and looks, and never talk shop about work or science or philosophy
Or she could be well-known as a musician, but have no interest in talking about it, as she wouldn’t be doing it so much if not for her overwhelming talent, and the sunk cost of the brutal amounts of training she endured, and the obscene amounts of money she makes doing musician stuff. If you talk to her about music, she will tolerate it if she likes you (but you will be burning up her goodwill), or will leave if she’s on the fence about you
Step 5: Know Her Logistics
Logistics are the details of the date – the where, when, and how of the meetup
is half the battle
Logistics Make The Date Possible
Logistics are absolutely paramount to her agreeing to a date – and show up for it
In the first place for importance, is availability
If she’s in uni, find out when she has assessments and exam prep and exams
If she works, find out if she works set days, or when her roster comes out – and for how many weeks in advance
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
And if it’s getting too close to roster release, do NOT lock in a date before the new roster comes out – you don’t want to eat your words and change your plans when your date plans clash with her work shifts
If she plays sports, or is into university clubs – or even acts as club executive, find out when she’s busy with those roles
If she runs a business, find out what her off times and off days are
(⌐O_O)
How come it’s when she’s free instead of when she’s busy?
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Running a business is like raising a child: You don’t actually have free time – you have to allocate free time to yourself
(^ΦдΦ^)
And sometimes that self-care doesn’t even happen, and that’s when you burn out and literally die (well, not as literally as in Japan)
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Do you think that’s why heart attack is the default cause of death for the Death Note? Because that’s literally the most common thing in Japan?
(^ΦдΦ^)
You need to drop this case right now, and go live out the rest of your days back in your small town
If she’s got the wanderlust, find out when she’s travelling
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
She obviously won’t be available for dates when she’s away – but she’ll also be busy shortly before the trip with all the last-minute errands and packing and visa application follow-ups
(^ΦдΦ^)
And she’ll probably be broke right before and after as well
(⌐O_O)
Even for coffee?
(^ΦдΦ^)
Possibly – and maybe for public transport too. This will be compounded by her having to work more to build back her discretionary spending, so she’ll be poor in both money AND time
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Point is, she’s likely way more discerning with her Going-Out Quota in the “immediately before or after” periods, and if you try to schedule a date then, you might fall on the wrong side of her priority list
Anyway, the above had to do with time
Location, Location, Location
There’s also the matter of location
As a guy, your best case scenario for a date, is that sex happens: For that to be possible, you need to be close enough to somewhere where you’re reasonably sure you can have privacy – which is usually your place. Accounting for this, we will assume that you are planning dates close to where you live
If she lives close to you, then all’s well – she won’t really have issue with the distance or convenience of the date
If she lives far away, however, then you really have to pay attention to her availability, and set the date when she has a lot of time free (the whole day free, or nothing in the middle of the day), and isn’t busy or stressed
(⌐O_O)
Why such focus on free time?
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Because if it takes her ages just to get to the date, she might literally not have time for the date if she has classes and errands littered throughout the day
(^ΦдΦ^)
And that’s assuming she likes you enough to even entertain the date: If she’s on the fence about you, you setting a date so out of the way for her, might lead to her not even wanting to meet up
Bonus Reason: The Social Value Ambush
Now, let’s set our sights to before you organising the date – to when you’re getting on your friend-crush’s radar, or making her interested in you
If you know that she always grabs coffee before class at the cafe closeby, or goes grocery-shopping after work in the supermarket of the mall where she works, you get to set her up the bomb: You can “accidentally” bump into her when hanging out with your cute female friends, and send her curiosity about you through the roof
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
These cute girls can even specifically be your wing-girls, who are in on the joke happy to make you look great in front of your crush, like giggle and playfully punch you when your crush is looking, or act all jealous and defensive when you’re saying hi to your crush, or pulling you away “because we have to go to ‘the thing’” (which you of course don’t specify to inflict maximum FOMO in your crush)
(^ΦдΦ^)
Is the thing a MLM seminar?
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
You’re killing me, Snarks
(⌐O_O)
That’s all great and all – except I don’t know how to get wing-girls – or even just cute female friends
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
That’s one of the things you’ll learn in PassiveGame – and it’s one of the most powerful things for landing your crush, I might add
Step 6: Know The Costs
Last but not least, you should consider the costs of going after the friend you have a crush on – as there will be consequences, whether you go boom or bust
Best Case Scenario
The best case scenario, is that you sleep together, which knocks on into you dating her:
Do you have any friends who are also into her, and how will they react to you snagging the girl?
Or do you know anyone else who is into her, and do they have the ability to make your life harder?
Or do you or her have an ex (or exes) in the social circle, and will dating her in the same circle cause tension and drama?
Or does she have an ex (or exes) with a tendency towards jealousy and/or violence? If so, are you prepared to deal with this?
Or if you guys just sleep together but don’t date, she might still talk to her friends in the circle, and word might still get around that you’re hooking up – are there any downsides to your circle finding out?
Worst Case Scenario
The worst case scenario is that you bomb hard when asking her out, or when making your move:
Are you guys good friends, or even best friends? Are you ready to put this friendship on the line for a chance at going for gold?
If your whole social circle found out, would you be ok with that?
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
I’m not saying that they would necessarily find out – but it is a possibility that you need to consider.
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
That said, if you are so dependent on the social circle that you and your friend-crush is in, that losing it would be unthinkable to you, then you are way too invested in this circle for going for your friend to be a good idea – and you need to get in with other social circles – or better yet, purpose-build your own high status social circle to attract girls automatically and risk-free, and bring new girls into your life constantly
Is she prone to drama, emotional instability, mental illness, or rash or erratic behaviour? Being as objective as one can when one has a crush on a friend, would the saying “don’t stick your junk in crazy” apply to your case?
Step 7: Make Your Decision + Take Action
Ok, time to make your call – will you go after her?
You WON’T Go After Her
So, you’ve weighed up everything, and you’ve noted:
- You care too much about the friendship to do anything to endanger it
- It’s not worth it with her crazy ex in the picture
- Sleeping with her would be slipping the sausage into madness
- You’ve ran all the simulations, and there’s no way for things to work out well for you, no matter if you succeed or fail – and the only way to win is to not play at all
(⌐O_O)
That is really dramatic
( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
Some people’s lives are just that dramatic
(^ΦдΦ^)
And also, some people are just that dramatic
And you’ve decided to pass on the chance of getting with your friend that you have a crush on
In that case, I commend you – it’s not easy to give up on the girl you crushed on for ages, that you will continue to see
But that’s not the end
Just because you’ve chosen not to go for one girl, doesn’t mean that you are doomed to a life without sex and love and companionship
Not siree, we have better things planned for you
We are helping you a build new social circle
One with tons of cute girls who are exactly your type
One where new cute girls are constantly being introduced into your circle
You won’t have to feel bad anymore about your crush on a friend, because your new social circle will be filled with girls who are as hot as her, or hotter than her
And if your current social circle was the reason for you deciding against going for your friend, you make sure that doesn’t happen again, because you’ll be in control of your own social circle, and you can make moves on any girl you damn well want
If you’re ready to learn how to build your new social circle filled with crush-worthy girls, click here
You WILL Go After Her
So, you’ve decided that you will go for your friend – brave choice!
You probably didn’t make that decision lightly – you understand the possible social circle blowback that could happen, or the number of pieces your heart can shatter into if she says no
Well, PassiveGame is here to help
What if I told you that you can get with your crush, risk-free?
You might think it’s impossible
It’s not – you can do so, by building a high-value social circle, and inviting your crush into it
It’s a social circle, filled with cool people, valuable people, and cute girls
And the fact that you are the leader and connector of so many desirable people, will make the girl attracted to you
So, you get to attract your crush, risk-free, because you’re not make the moves – your social circle is doing the work for you
That means, no blow-back from your old social circle from you creeping on your crush
That also means, you can simply put her in your new social circle, and wait until she’s attracted enough, then ask her out
If it sounds too good to be true, you’ll probably want to learn about it – find out more by clicking here
Comments are closed.